just because I forgot my wallet doesn't mean it's the end of the world, dang!

So when I drove up to pay for my lunch today at Chick-fil-A, and felt for my pocket to pull out my wallet, it wasn't there. My heart sank a little in my chest. I was a little embarrassed and felt like the biggest idiot. I told the girl in drive thru that I forgot my wallet. She took sympathy on me and I slowly drove off without me and Chris's lunch. There I was way across town, miles away from my house, but not that far from Chris's, and I forgot my damn wallet. I don't forget things like that. My wallet or my car keys.

I decided to head onward to his house anyway. I called as I drew closer to tell him what happened. He sounded annoyed needless to say. "I don't know why you just didn't turn back around and go home when you realized you had forgotten it." He acted like I'm always forgetting shit. Like I'm Mr. Absent-minded. I didn't turn around to go back 'cause, one I didn't want to drive all the way back on the south side of town to the country, and two, I had his birthday gift that I was going to give to him two days early 'cause seeing him on Thursdays is usually something the two of us are unsure of. I asked him if he had money, and he said no, which is fine. I thought of going to my bank to withdraw some cash 'cause we had planned on going out for beers after our lunch, but I realized I had to have I.D. and I didn't know my account number by heart yet anyway.

I told Chris I would turn around and head home to retrieve my wallet. It didn't take me as long as I thought, but I hated doing it nonetheless. I was quite annoyed with myself for forgetting it. I drove back to Chick-fil-A. I parked and went inside this time where it was cool and the service was uber faster. It was much too hot to sit in a drive-thru in August. It didn't take me long after that to get to Chris's. I text him minutes before arriving. I'm here. I turned into the driveway, killed the engine and waited. All the windows in my car were down. The air-conditioning died a year ago. $320 bucks to fix. Money I don't have. I waited for Chris to let the garage door up. I knew he was putting away his dog. I was still feeling a little annoyed and the heat wasn't helping.

Finally, he came. I grabbed his bagged gift and our lunch. Two 12 pack nuggets. He looked irritated with a sour look on his face. I hoped it wasn't because of me. I forgot my wallet. It happens. You better believe more than one, more than two people locked their car keys in their cars today.

I watched outside the kitchen door as he picked up his dog and took him into the other room. When I saw him, I walked in. I was tired, sweaty and hungry. The only thing I said was that I was hot. I sat on the sofa with our lunch, while Chris switched on the TV. I took out the contents in the bag that sat between us. We began to eat. He didn't offer me anything cold to drink this time. I guess because he figured we were going out for a couple of cold ones later. I blabbered on about almost forgetting his gift. He didn't say anything. He didn't even look at me, but just ate with his eyes glued to an old episode of Law and Order. I spilled a little Polynesian sauce on my jeans, but he didn't notice. We finished our nuggets. Chris opened the bag with his gift inside. A pair of Southpole jeans and a T-shirt to go with them. He wasn't excited. I guess because I buy him shit like that all the time. I was going to have it wrapped, but it just would have been a waste of pretty paper and cardboard.

I never know what to get him for birthdays or Christmases. It seems like he has everything. "Just get me a gift card," he told me, but that looks so insincere. He means much more to me than that. I attempted again to start an exchange of dialogue. "I think the fans of this show prefer it if both detectives are male." Chris just shrugged his shoulders and kept on watching. What the hell is wrong with him, I thought. I was sure I didn't do or say anything over the weekend to piss him off. It was then that I realized he sounded short with me on the phone too. I don't think he wanted to hang out. I don't think he wanted to look at my face today.

I hate that awkward silence. Even if the only thing we could hear was his dog barking. I wanted to fool around even if I promised I wouldn't bring up sex or his dick. Since it didn't look like we weren't going out for beers, I told him I needed to go, that I needed to go to the library to print out some stories that were submitted for three new projects I'm doing. I left not knowing what in the world he was upset about. I tried to get it out of him, but he just made it sound like I was the one who was pissed off, but I was fine, a little excited even that we were eating at his place. Besides, when I'm mad, he knows it, 'cause I don't say a word while we're hanging out. I guess today, he adopted that technique. I left feeling like I had been kicked out.

I hadn't even turned off the road he lives on before I text him to ask of he was all right. He swore he was. I was disappointed that we didn't go out. I always, always like hanging out with Chris. He can be so much fun. He's always what I need after a shitty weekend at my shitty movie theatre job. It's just that he's been in this pissy mood since last Wednesday. I developed hours after I sucked him off. He acted like I had mouth-raped him or something.

I just get so sick of arguing, tired of being mad with him about silly shit. I thought, is he annoyed with me 'cause I forgot the wallet?

Since it was the week his birthday was on, I told him I wanted to chill out. I didn't want to fuck his special day up. It just goes to show, sex before friendship, can fuck up any and all possibilities of something real. Things would be different if I hadn't have gone down on him five years ago.

I still want to take him out for his birthday, but I don't want things to be uber awkward. I just told him of this very concern. He says we can do that, that he will have to see how the week progresses. I hope we can do something fun at least one day this week.